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Unless you have some super amazing other dating prospect there isn't a huge reason to cut this relationship off now. His hospital "family" protected this information well, silently acquiescing and even approving his behavior. It may change your relationship to them forever. Did my heart good. The church is very important to her. I found that it worked just as well. Even if she does, you'll be the reason in her family's eyes. The foundation of our relationship began with God and he will always be in the center.
There are so many potential problems they would fill a book. When you said that the doctor spouse sacrifices for their patients and their family sacrifices for the doctor's career, it really described my situation. You don't have to believe them yourself, but you need that respect in thought as well as action, and you need to frame this as your own journey because you can only change yourself. And once you are done with those, ask about social issues and where she stands. I often contemplate divorcing my husband so that I could seek happiness elsewhere, or at least companionship. Maybe watch "Going Clear" with her. We see each other about once every ten days, or times a week at most when his schedule is lighter. If you feel peaceful with your decision and you feel it is right that should be helpful. For me this has been an opportunity to increase my love, tolerance, compassion and acceptance. What a bozza topic.